I Am Me

I'm an idealist. I am dreamy. Picturesque figments. And that is because I was born to write and scribble my ideals. But at the end of each day, I still am a fan of reality ♥

I don't know, I'm not sure. I think I'm still figuring it out. These words echoing right inside my core. Perhaps, I could say that I don't know myself really well. Sometimes, the thought of being a psycho cracks in. I find it hard to decide, I find it hard to move on and get over. There are times I wanna be alone and contemplate or get drown of long sleeps all thru the summer days. But there are also times, I want to bang my head into loud music or jump into thrills and abrupt picks of decision whatever outcome it will bring. It's all weird. Odd it may seem, I am confused.

Yet, I'm positive about it. Maybe, I'm blooming late. Like a single red tulip in a sea of yellow tulips. Maybe, I'm still on the process and verge of growing up. What do you think? I'm 19. Is it possible? I'm not certain of it too. Either ways, life is about finding it out, and being puzzled. Coz' I believe if it wasn't made that way, the whole earth population would be a total dummy of ignorance and insensibility. We wouldn't be pushed to decide on our own, we wouldn't have to use our heads. We aren't gonna be required to think maturely. There would be no confusions, and psychological issues or crisis. There wouldn't be psychiatrists and psychologists. And so, no established principles and knowledges to cultivate and puzzle us. Can you picture it?

Back to the thought, don't be anxious about being different, of being classified as the .000001 % composition of the human race - of the thought you aren't like a normal human you see in the household, school, workplace and everywhere. This is your life, this is a world where freedom is free (That's the word). Continue being the way you are, as long as you aren't harming anyone - move on and be happy. It could be said plain easy, but I know its hard yet if you want something you would gladly and tirelessly do it right? Just live life. Don't mind the falls and cuts you'll have, think of the positive things you will gain from all those. And along the way, you'll be the best person you can be. Meet different kinds of people. Fall in love. Run like a kid. Mess Up. Drive down the hill. Dive a Leap. Consume what's beneficial. Get hurt. Then forgive. And learn so you can move on again.

Walk into the journey and find your way to happiness and self discovery. Coz' when you do, that's enough and greater than the scientific discoveries we have on books. For those petty journey, will prove your own brand of self worth.

Just like a single red tulip in the sea of yellow spring bliss.....

*Wrote this one few months ago, during my bummer days looking for a firm to have my internship at. Those old days I have in front of pc with a bowl full of food on my hand. When I usually confuse myself pondering random thoughts. Miss those days, when writing is a blink away; when u have all the time. To read and to write. To think and contemplate. Too far from what kind of days I have now. 

Just now, someone inspired me to publish this and release this note from my contained box of drafts collections dating as old as 2008 <3 Hope this one makes point.